Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Do You Take This House...
From this day forward...for better or worse...in sickness and health...
I never thought I would apply those words to any other than the husband I married sixteen years ago. But the more effort (insert blood sweat and tears here) I expend on this house the more these words seem to beat in my head.
There are days that I wouldn't trade the house for any thing in the world. I look at the beautiful wavy glass in the old six on six and four on four windows or the beautiful wood floor I brought back to life in the foyer and feel such a rush of satisfaction that I chose to live here.
Then there are days I long for a divorce from the house. Days when I swear I'm going to catch the next bus out of this town (if this podunk town was big enough to HAVE a bus) and never come back. Screw the house, I say. I'm leaving. Days when cracks appear in walls that were picture perfect just yesterday or toilets decide to overflow in the upstairs bathroom and run all the way down the hall and through the window casings of the dining room before anybody notices.
Those days there is a rush of despair that the job will never be finished that is every bit as strong as the satisfaction felt on a good day and it takes everything I have to hold on and get through it all.
Today was one of those good days. Standing on my elliptical machine trying to work off the twenty pounds I have gained over the past year, my mind wandered. I looked at the living room with the white mantle and the green tea leaf walls, to the beautiful ochre colored foyer , the twelve foot ceilings. Sure there is still much to be done. New carpet, refinishing the floors in the dining room and bedrooms and a non functioning bathroom still needing a toilet, among other things. But it's okay. Days like this it certainly seems "for better" than "for worse".